Okay, so I'm trying to be a writer. I wrote this as a spec script
like all beginners do. For those of you who don't know, a spec script
is a script that a beginning writer writes in order to get the
attention of agents and such. This is copywrited just for the sake of
trying to be professional.

Feedback: Yes please. I'd like to know if I have any hope of being a
writer or not. I wrote this as an acutal episode and also have
others. Don't be gentle here, I need honest feedback.

Characters: Everyone (even Sam).



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


STATISTICS AND SHIELDS

TEASER

FADE IN:

INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - MORNING

JOSH is hunched over his desk working.

JOSH
Stop it.
(beat)
Stop it.

JOSH looks up from his work.

JOSH (CONT'D)
Stop starring at me.

DONNA
Josh.

JOSH looks at his pen, throws it down, stands from his desk, and
walks into the hall.

INT. BULLPEN HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

JOSH
Donna, I can't fix a parking ticket.

DONNA is hot on his heels.

DONNA
Why not? You're a big important guy.

JOSH enters the bullpen area.

JOSH
(sarcastically)
Because, it's against the law.

DONNA
I can't afford a parking ticket.

JOSH is riffling through DONNA'S desk drawer.

JOSH
Well, next time park in a designated spot.

DONNA
Josh.

JOSH
(to himself)
I need a pen.

DONNA
Josh.

JOSH looks around the room for an abandoned pen.

DONNA (CONT'D)
Josh.

JOSH
Donna, I can't.

DONNA
If you could, would you?

JOSH
No.

DONNA
Why not?

JOSH
(out loud)
Does anybody have a pen? Preferably blue?

WOMAN (O.S.)
No.

MAN (O.S.)
I've got a red one.

JOSH throws up his hands in defeat and heads back to his office.

JOSH
I need a pen. A freaking blue, ballpoint pen. I'm not asking for
the
square root of a million.

DONNA
Why not?

JOSH
What?

DONNA
Why not?

JOSH
(emphatically)
Because, it's against the law.

INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

JOSH plops down in his chair and begins riffling through his drawers.
DONNA stops at the door.

DONNA

And if it wasn't?

JOSH
(frustrated)
Donna!...I need a blue pen.

DONNA throws a blue pen at JOSH.

JOSH (CONT'D)
You had this the whole time?

DONNA
I was just being helpful.

JOSH
Donna- -

DONNA
A good little soldier.

JOSH
Donna- -

DONNA
A happy little galley slave who would do anything for her master.

JOSH
(loudly)
Donna!

DONNA turns and leaves his office.

CUT TO:

INT. BULLPEN HALLWAY - A SECOND LATER

CJ storms through the doors of the bullpen hallway and marches
towards her office. At her door, she is met by CAROL.

CAROL
Good morning.

CJ gives CAROL a thoroughly unenthusiastic look.

CAROL (CONT'D)
Maybe not.

INT. CJ'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

CJ walks over to her desk and drops her purse on the floor.

CJ
I have a rattle.

CAROL
What?

CJ sits down at her desk.

CJ
I have a rattle in my car. Last night, on the way home, it started
making this rattling sound. So, this morning I took it to "Little
John's Auto and Transmission Repair" thinking it would take
all of
five minutes.

CAROL
But it didn't.

CJ
No. Little John, who weighs about three hundred pounds and was
wearing a wife beater stained with what could only be described as
three day old tuna casserole, said he wanted to keep it for the day
and have a look-see.

CAROL
Don't look at me. I don't know anything about transmissions.

CJ
(defeated)
Neither do I. I blew up my last two cars before I figured out that
you have to put oil in it every thirty thousand miles.

CAROL
Three thousand miles.

CJ
What?

CAROL
You're supposed to change the oil every three thousand miles, not
thirty thousand.

CJ
Oh...well, that explains my gremlin.

CAROL
You had a gremlin?

CJ
I was around in the eighties.

CAROL
Please, tell me you have pictures of that.

CJ
How complicated can it be? You turn the car on, stick your head under
the hood, find the rattle, beat the crap out of it with a hammer,
charge me a hundred bucks for labor, and everyone's happy.

CAROL
Exactly how many cars have you gone through?

CJ
All together? Nine.

In complete shock, CAROL turns and leaves the office.

CJ (CONT'D)
(shouting after her)
What?

CUT TO:

INT. RESIDENCE - MORNING

BARTLET is getting dressed in the closet area. ABBEY is still in her
robe, sitting on the edge of the bad.

BARTLET (O.S.)
I want you to see a Doctor...today.

ABBEY
It could be anything. Hormones probably.

BARTLET walks out of the closet.

BARTLET
Yeah, and it could also be something worse. I can't understand
why
you are being so nonchalant about this. You're a Doctor, you know
better.

ABBEY
It's nothing.

BARTLET
(agitated)
You don't know that.

BARTLET takes a moment to compose himself. He sits down next to ABBEY.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
I just...We need to be absolutely sure.

ABBEY
Yeah.

BARTLET
You're probably right. It's probably nothing- -

ABBEY
A cyst or something.

BARTLET
Yeah...Better to be safe than sorry.

ABBEY
Yeah.

BARTLET
So, you'll go?

ABBEY
Yes.

BARTLET
Today?

ABBEY
Yes.

BARTLET
Okay.
(beat)
I have a staff meeting.

ABBEY
(concerned)
Yeah...You're gonna be okay, right? You're not gonna storm
around
threatening to thump people because you're upset?

BARTLET
No. I never get upset.

ABBEY
(amused)
Right.

BARTLET kisses ABBEY. BARTLET walks towards the door. He gets to the
door and turns back.

BARTLET
(confident)
We've been through a lot. We'll get through this.

ABBEY smiles at BARTLET as he leaves the room. The door closes and
her smile fades.

EXT. RESIDENCE - CONTINUOUS

BARTLET stands on the outside of the door.

BARTLET
(concerned)
It's something.

INT. RESIDENCE - CONTINUOUS

ABBEY'S hand is resting on her breast.

ABBEY
It's nothing.

SMASH CUT TO:

MAIN TITLES

END OF TEASER



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - MORNING

CJ, SAM, TOBY, JOSH, LEO, and BARTLET are all gathered in the Oval
Office. BARTLET is sitting at his desk oblivious to the conversation
taking place.

JOSH
I didn't see your car in the parking lot CJ. Did you take it in
for
an oil change?

The men snicker.

CJ
How does it get around so fast?

SAM
You have no secrets here.

TOBY
How much is it gonna cost?

CJ
I don't know. It's having a look-see.

SAM
You didn't get an estimate?

CJ
(confused)
An estimate?

TOBY
You just gave them your car? You always get an estimate first.

CJ
I didn't know that.

JOSH
You'd think after nine cars- -

CJ
Shut up!

LEO
Okay, do you think we could get through this possibly today?

SAM
Sorry.

LEO
Last night Senator Duncan's son-in-law was killed in
Jacksonville,
Florida- -

TOBY
The cop?

LEO
Yeah. He was performing a routine traffic stop. Sam and Toby, I want
you two to write a letter of condolence to the family.

TOBY
What the hell goes on down there? This is the third one in two weeks.

LEO
People have no respect for human life anymore.

SAM
Do you have a bio?

LEO
Yeah.

LEO hands SAM a file folder.

SAM
How soon would you like to see a draft?

SAM looks to BARTLET. After a moment the entire room is looking at
BARTLET.

TOBY
Sir?

BARTLET regains focus.

BARTLET
I'm sorry, what?

TOBY
The letter to the officer's family? When do you want a draft?

BARTLET
After lunch is fine.

TOBY
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Did I hear something about an oil change?

CJ
No, sir.

The MEN laugh.

LEO
CJ, could you please talk to the Herald reporter about his snide
comments pertaining to "Big Block of Cheese Day?"

JOSH
Oh, God.

LEO
What was that?

TOBY
We were hoping you would forget.

LEO
Fat chance.

A groan is heard from the group.

LEO (CONT'D)
Tell you what. If CJ can get Marks to lay off, I'll make it a
half-
day.

SAM
That sounds like a gouda deal to me.

Everyone turns and look at SAM thoroughly unimpressed with the joke.

SAM (CONT'D)
Sorry.

CJ
That was a bit cheesy don't you think?

The MEN laugh.

SAM
She gets a laugh and I don't?

TOBY
Hers was funny.

LEO
All right, enough with the cheese jokes.

JOSH
Yes, bree-have yourselves.

They laugh.

SAM
Oh, come on!

LEO
Okay, that's it. Everyone out.

CJ, SAM, JOSH, and TOBY head for the door.

TOBY
I can't believe you made a joke out of bree.

SAM
I can't believe I didn't get a laugh. Gouda is clever.

JOSH
No, it's really not.

SAM
Think about it- -

CJ
Sam!

The group exits through the door.

SAM (O.S.)
(condescending)
So what do you use CJ? 10W30? 10W40?

A loud slap is heard.

SAM (O.S.)
Ouch!

LEO remains behind in the Oval Office.

LEO
Sir, are you okay?

BARTLET
Yeah, just thinking.

LEO
I thought maybe you were having a senior moment or something.

BARTLET
A senior moment?

LEO
Well, you're old.

BARTLET
You're older than me.

LEO
Thank you for pointing that out yet again.

BARTLET
I'm fine.

LEO
You're sure?

BARTLET
Yeah.

LEO
Okay, well, I have some calls to make.

BARTLET
Okay.

LEO returns to his office. BARTLET sits down at his desk and turns
his chair towards the window.

CUT TO:

INT. BULLPEN HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

SAM and TOBY are walking towards TOBY'S office. SAM is reading
the
information from the file out loud.

SAM
Officer William Taylor. Twenty-two years old. Born February 10th,
1980, in Jacksonville. Graduated from high school with honors.
Received several community service awards for his work with the
homeless. He also received the Key to the City for rescuing a four
year old girl from her burning home. A hospice volunteer. Recently
graduated from the academy. This was his first traffic stop.

TOBY stops at his door and turns to face SAM.

TOBY
It was his first stop?

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
For what?

SAM read down the page.

SAM
A broken taillight.

TOBY
And they shot him?

SAM
Yeah.

TOBY
What does it say about his family?

SAM
His father is a construction worker. His mother owns an antique
store. Father-in-law is, as we know, Senator Duncan. No sisters. One
brother, a firefighter...

SAM stops mid sentence obviously bothered by what comes next.

TOBY
Sam?

SAM
His wife is four months pregnant with their first child.

TOBY becomes visibly upset.

TOBY
(deeply bothered)
Dammit!

CUT TO:

INT. DONNA'S DESK - MORNING

DONNA is sitting at her desk. She is on the phone trying to work her
way out of the parking ticket.

DONNA
Yes, but...Officer Johnson...the space wasn't clearly
marked...yes, I
saw the handicapped sign, but it was faded...well, I wasn't sure
if
the sign was for the one spot or all three...blue lines?...Okay,
I'm
gonna be honest here. I did notice the sign and the blue lines. I
just had to run in for a minute to get my grandmother's
medication.
See, she's very sick and I'm all she has. I'm the only
one in my
entire family who would give up a very lucrative career as a brain
surgeon and take a thankless six hundred dollar a week job in order
to keep her alive. So, you can see I am under a tremendous amount of
stress and if you could just find it in your heart to let me slide
this one time...my other three tickets?...yes ma'am...thank
you...goodbye.

DONNA hangs up the phone and drops her head down on her desk.

DONNA (CONT'D)
Damn meter maids.

JOSH walks past her desk.

JOSH
Technically, she's not a meter maid. She's a parking enforcer.

DONNA looks up as JOSH passes and sticks her tongue out at him.

JOSH (O.S.)
I saw that.

CUT TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - MORNING

BARTLET is having his picture taken with the three top cookie sellers
from the GIRL SCOUTS. CHARLIE steps into the office.

CHARLIE
Sir, the First Lady is waiting.

BARTLET
Okay.

BARTLET shakes the girls' hands.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
Girls congratulations again. Remember what I told you.

GIRL 1
No boys until we're thirty.

BARTLET
Yes, and why?

GIRL 2
Because they just get in the way.

BARTLET
That's right. Good thing no one taught the First Lady that.

The GIRLS are led out of the office with the PHOTOGRAPHER and their
PARENTS. BARTLET nods to CHARLIE. CHARLIE sticks his head out of the
door.

CHARLIE
Ma'am.

ABBEY enters.

BARTLET
Charlie, could you give us a minute?

CHARLIE
Yes, sir.

CHARLIE exits. BARTLET and ABBEY sit on the couch.

ABBEY
I have an appointment in forty-five minutes.

BARTLET
Want me to go with you?

ABBEY
No, you have more important things to deal with.

BARTLET
Nothing is more important than this.

ABBEY
I'll be fine. It's a cyst, they'll drain it, no big deal.
I'll be
back in an hour.

BARTLET
Are you trying to convince me or you?

ABBEY
I'll be fine.

BARTLET
Well, if you change your mind- -

ABBEY
I know.

BARTLET
How do you feel?

ABBEY
I'm fine.

BARTLET
Are you sure?

ABBEY
Jed.

BARTLET
Okay.

There is a knock on the door. CHARLIE enters.

CHARLIE
Sir?

BARTLET
Okay Charlie.

CHARLIE exits.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
Let me know before you leave.

ABBEY
I will.

ABBEY starts for the door.

BARTLET
Hey.

ABBEY turns around. BARTLET gives her a comforting hug.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
I'll be right here when you get back.

ABBEY leaves.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
(calling out)
Charlie.

CHARLIE enters.

CHARLIE
Yes, sir?

BARTLET
Could you ask Donna Moss to come and see me, please?

CHARLIE
Yes, sir.

CHARLIE leaves.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. CJ'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

CJ is sitting at her desk on the phone.

CJ
Okay, so it was a plastic engine guard under the car?...Well, yeah I
hit a pothole. This is D.C., there are potholes everywhere...so can I
come and get my car now?...A tune up? You're sure it needs
it?...Yeah, yeah fine. Goodbye.

SAM enters CJ's office.

SAM
Well?

CJ
The plastic guard under my car was broken and that's what caused
the
rattle.

SAM
Do you need a ride to pick up your car?

CJ
No, now I need a tune up.

SAM
Oh, okay.

SAM stands in the middle of CJ'S office quietly.

CJ
Sam?

SAM
Yeah?

CJ
Is there something you need?

SAM
No, just came to visit.

CJ
Isn't there a letter you're supposed to be working on?

SAM
Toby won't let me.

CJ
Why not?

SAM
He said that I don't understand the type of emotion this type of
tragedy causes. You know, cause he's been to war and I
haven't.

CJ
You're serious?

SAM
He doesn't think I could articulate the proper sentiments. You
know,
because I'm twelve.

CJ shuffles the papers on her desk.

CJ
Well, could you go visit someone else? I'm kind of busy here.

SAM
Sure.

SAM stands there for a moment. CJ looks up at SAM.

SAM (CONT'D)
I'm going.

SAM leaves the office.

CUT TO:

INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - AFTERNOON

CHARLIE is sitting at his desk. TOBY enters.

TOBY
Hey Charlie.

CHARLIE
Hey.

TOBY
Do you have a minute?

CHARLIE
Sure.

TOBY
There's this letter I have to write to a family and I'm
having a hard
time. I was wondering if maybe you could help me.

CHARLIE
I'm not a writer.

TOBY
I know.

CHARLIE
Then why ask me?

TOBY
Because, it's something you can identify with.

CHARLIE
(confused)
Okay.

TOBY sits down.

TOBY
There's this police officer that was killed in Florida, and
I'm
supposed to be writing a letter to the family expressing the
condolences of the President.

CHARLIE
What's the problem?

TOBY is stunned by the admission he is about to make.

TOBY
For the first time, in a long time, I'm at a loss for words...I
don't
know what to say to make it better.

CHARLIE
There really isn't anything you can say to make it better.

TOBY
Yeah.

TOBY begins to tell CHARLIE a story that he has never repeated to
another living soul. He is reluctant about telling the story, but
does so anyway.

TOBY (CONT'D)
When I was in Vietnam, I met this guy. George McIntosh. The President
reminds me so much of him.

CHARLIE
A good guy.

TOBY
Yeah. He had a magnetic personality, people were drawn to him. We
became friends...good friends actually. We did everything together.
We worked the same detail together, we liked the same movies, read
the same books...he was like a brother. All we had to do was
say "hello" and were inseparable. He had this habit of
constantly
making jokes and it would irritate the hell out of me. People were
dying, we're trapped in the middle of the jungle, it's three
hundred
degrees with a slight breeze, and he's making jokes about the
true
meaning of "Purple Haze." I didn't understand at the time
that this
was his way of keeping it together. He knew, like the rest of us,
that there was a very good chance that we wouldn't be coming out
alive.  

CHARLIE
But you guys made it out.

TOBY
One afternoon, we were walking through a small Vietnamese village. It
seemed, believe it or not, like a light day. This woman with a baby
was walking down the street trying to balance her child and these
bags. George, thinking that he would want someone to help his wife if
she were in the same spot, went over to help her. She handed him her
child. I thought it odd that she did that, you know, a mother would
never hand her baby to a complete stranger. And as I turned around, I
heard...an explosion.

CHARLIE
It wasn't a baby.

TOBY
No. The women would wrap a bomb like a baby and throw them into the
doors of shops and restaurants hoping for at least one American
casualty. There were kids strapped with explosives and sent into the
center squares of towns where people would gather and would...self
destruct. When my tour was over, I came home. George didn't come
home, a lot of guys didn't come home, but I did. I had been back
for
about a week when I got this letter from a woman named Mary. I knew
who she was before she could explain it in the letter. The letters
that wives and mothers received from the service were so generic.
Dear Mrs. Smith, I regret to inform you that Danny boy was killed in
battle, signed whoever. She wanted to know how he had died, if he had
gone quickly, if he had said anything before he died...they
didn't
even tell her what happened to him. I sat down to write her this
letter and I couldn't do it. I felt so guilty about being alive
that
I couldn't tell her what she wanted to know. What she needed to
know.

CHARLIE
I don't understand, why do you need me?

TOBY
This officer in Florida was killed in the line of duty. Your mother
was killed in the line of duty, and I can't write this letter.

CHARLIE
(uneasy)
Yeah.

TOBY
I thought maybe you could help me.

CHARLIE
I don't think that's a good idea.

TOBY
Why?

CHARLIE
(agitated)
Because it's not.

TOBY senses that he has crossed the line with CHARLIE and backs off.

TOBY
Okay.

TOBY stands and leaves. CHARLIE tries to regain his composure as
DONNA enters.

DONNA
Hi Charlie.

CHARLIE
Hey.

CHARLIE stares at DONNA for a moment.

DONNA
Charlie?

CHARLIE
Yeah?

DONNA
The President wanted to see me?

CHARLIE
Yeah, you can go in.

DONNA
Thanks.

CUT TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - A SECOND LATER

DONNA enters.

DONNA
Sir, you wanted to see me?

BARTLET
Yeah, Donna. Have a seat.

DONNA and BARTLET sit.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
How is your day going so far?

DONNA
Well, I'm down a hundred and twenty-seven bucks. Other than that,
it's fine. How about you?

BARTLET
Day's not over yet.

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

BARTLET
Donna, there's something I need you to do for me. It's of a
sensitive
nature and I feel I can trust you with this.

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

BARTLET
I need you to find out as much as you can about breast cancer.

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

BARTLET
I'd like this to be kept in the strictest of confidence.

DONNA
Absolutely, Sir.

BARTLET
Thanks.

DONNA stands and begins walking towards the door. Concern forces her
to turn back.

DONNA
Sir? Please forgive my impertinence, but should I be worried?

BARTLET tries to sound reassuring more to himself than to DONNA.

BARTLET
No.

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

DONNA exits.

CUT TO:

INT. LEO'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

LEO is sitting at his desk. There is a knock at the door.

LEO
Yeah.

MARGARET enters.

MARGARET
Josh is here.

LEO
Okay.

MARGARET waves JOSH in.

JOSH
Thanks Maggie.

MARGARET
Don't call me that.

JOSH
Whatever.

MARGARET exits.

LEO
What's up?

JOSH
You're gonna love this.

LEO looks up from his work.

JOSH (CONT'D)
I get this call from Representative John Ormond, from southern Ohio,
who's about to throw a clot because an aquaculture matching grant
is
about to be axed.

LEO
You mean agriculture.

JOSH
No, I mean aquaculture.

LEO
In southern Ohio?

JOSH
Apparently.

LEO
I don't have time for jokes.

JOSH
Leo, I swear to God, this isn't a joke. This guy is serious.
He's
threatening to pull support of any future agriculture bill in the
House if we don't do something.

LEO
What do we do?

JOSH
I think the first thing would be to find out what the hell
aquaculture is.

LEO
You don't know?

JOSH
Well, I'm guessing it has something to do with water.

LEO
Josh.

JOSH
I'll fix this. Don't worry.

LEO
Don't promise anything to anyone.

JOSH
Okay.

JOSH exits as MARGARET enters. She notices JOSH has stopped in the
doorway and is giving her a cocky smile. MARGARET slams the door in
his face. MARGARET hands LEO a note.

LEO
She's okay?

MARGARET
It was a minor cardio arrythmia.

LEO
Okay.

CUT TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

LEO enters the office. BARTLET is talking to ABBEY on the phone.

BARTLET
Take your time...will you come and see me when you get back?...okay,
I love you.

BARTLET hangs up the phone. LEO approaches the desk.

LEO
Senator Richards' wife is recovering as expected. She should be
released from G.W. on Friday.

BARTLET
That's good.

LEO notices BARTLET'S distraction.

LEO
What's wrong?

BARTLET
Nothing.

LEO
Don't tell me it's nothing. You were distracted this morning
during
the meeting and now you look like your best friend died.

BARTLET
Leo, please- -

LEO
No. We could get called to the situation room at any time. We might
have to make a decision about launching a full out tactical assault
meanwhile your head is somewhere else. What is going on?

BARTLET hesitates and then concedes to LEO'S question.

BARTLET
Abbey has a lump.

LEO is unsure of what he just heard.

LEO
What?

BARTLET
You know, a lump.

LEO wants to make sure that he has heard BARTLET correctly.

LEO
She told you she found a lump?

BARTLET
No.

LEO
I don't under- -

BARTLET
I found it.

LEO
Is she getting it checked out?

BARTLET
That's where she is now.

LEO
You didn't go with her?

BARTLET
She didn't want me to. She says it's nothing...a cyst. She
seemed
pretty confident about it.

LEO
Confident or in denial?

BARTLET
I don't know.

Both stand for a moment in uncomfortable silence.

LEO
I don't know what to say.

BARTLET
Yeah...Listen, I don't want this getting out. It's private
and I
don't want Abbey being used as tabloid cannon fodder.

LEO
Don't worry about it.

BARTLET
Thanks.

LEO
If you wanna talk- -

BARTLET
Yeah.

LEO returns to his office.

CUT TO:

INT. CJ'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

CJ is on the phone trying to convince a reporter to zip his lip.

CJ
Mike, please, just ease up...Big Block of Cheese Day is a productive
event...of course I don't sound convinced, it's a joke, but
Leo
McGarry takes that day very seriously. If I don't get this
resolved,
I'm gonna find out that the earth really is flat and we've
all been
lied to since pre-school...nothing, just lay off...really, well, I
just might let a certain Watergate situation slip out and I'm
talking
about Nixon...see, was that so hard?...goodbye.

CJ hangs up the phone. SAM is walking past her office.

CJ (CONT'D)
(excited)
Sam!

SAM enters her office.

SAM
Yeah?

CJ
How much do you want me right now?

SAM
Marks?

CJ
Yep.

SAM
How?

CJ stands from her desk and walks towards SAM.

CJ
Well, I happen to know about a little incident involving Marks, his
chief editor's wife, and the Watergate hotel.

SAM
You're kidding.

CJ
Nope.

SAM wraps himself around CJ.

SAM
Oh baby!

CJ laughs and tries to free herself from SAM. JOSH is walking by.
JOSH stops.

JOSH
Gross!

JOSH continues walking.

CJ
Sam, I have to go.

SAM lets go.

SAM
Okay. Where are you going?

CJ
Well, I've been calling and calling the auto mechanic place and I
keep getting jerked around. So, I'm going down there to see what
the
hell is going on.

SAM
Want me to go with you?

CJ
No, I can handle it.

CJ begins walk towards the door when SAM stops her.

SAM
What kind of car do you have?

CJ turns.

CJ
A 2001 Honda Accord.

SAM
What happened to the Mustang?

CJ exits the office.

CJ
(loudly)
Don't ask.

SAM
Okay...she killed it. She blew up the Mustang.

CUT TO:

INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

CJ arrives in TOBY'S office.

CJ
Hey, I'm gonna go check on my car.

TOBY
Is it done?

CJ
No, I'm getting the run around.

TOBY
You want me to go with you?

JOSH walks up next to CJ.

CJ
I can handle it.

JOSH
Handle what?

TOBY
CJ's getting the run around about her car.

JOSH
Want me to go with you?

CJ
(irritated)
I can handle it!

JOSH
Okay.

CJ turns and leaves in a huff. JOSH shrugs to TOBY. TOBY grins.

CUT TO:

INT. DONNA'S DESK - AFTERNOON

DONNA is at her desk. She has just gotten off the phone. JOSH walks
up to DONNA.

JOSH
You're fighting the ticket?

DONNA
Yes. If the meter maid doesn't show up, then I don't have to
pay.

JOSH
How do you know she won't show up?

DONNA
That's true. She obviously has nothing better to do.

JOSH
You have problems.

JOSH walks back to his office.

DONNA
(out loud)
I shall conquer!

DONNA grabs a file off of her desk and walks away.

CUT TO:

INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

JOSH is sitting at his desk when SAM enters.

SAM
Hey.

JOSH
Hey.

SAM
What are you doing?

JOSH
Researching aquaculture.

SAM
You mean agriculture?

JOSH
No, I mean aquaculture.

SAM
Can I help?

JOSH
I got it.

SAM
Okay.

A moment of silence passes.

SAM (CONT'D)
Did you know that it takes thirty muscles to raise an eyebrow?

JOSH looks up at SAM raising both eyebrows.

JOSH
What?

SAM
(gesturing to Josh)
See, that took sixty muscles just then.

JOSH
What the hell are you talking about?

SAM
Since I don't have anything to do, I started reading this book of
useless trivia. It's quite interesting.

JOSH
Go away, I have work here.

SAM
Okay.

SAM stands for a moment.

SAM (CONT'D)
Did you know- -

JOSH
(yelling)
Go away!

CUT TO:

INT. HALLWAY - A SECOND LATER

SAM leaves JOSH'S office and closes the door behind him. SAM
stands
for a moment looking around and then moves on.

CUT TO:

INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - AFTERNOON

CHARLIE is working at his desk when ABBEY enters through the french
doors. CHARLIE stands.

ABBEY
Hi Charlie.

CHARLIE
Ma'am. He's waiting for you.

ABBEY
Thanks.

CUT TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - A SECOND LATER

ABBEY enters the office. BARTLET jumps up from his desk and moves
towards her. He raises his arms to hug her. She puts her hands up in
protest.

ABBEY
No hugging. I've been poked, and prodded, and I'm a little
sore.

BARTLET
Anything I can do?

ABBEY
No.

BARTLET
Let's sit down.

BARTLET takes ABBEY'S hand and leads her to the couch.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
So, what happened?

ABBEY stands up and walks away from the couch not wanting to discuss
what happened.

ABBEY
I don't want to talk about it.

BARTLET
Abbey- -

ABBEY
I'm going back to the residence.

BARTLET follows behind her at a quick pace. He grabs her arm to stop
her from leaving.

BARTLET
I want to know what happened.

ABBEY pulls her arm away.

ABBEY
Don't!...I just...I just want to go back to the residence.

BARTLET
I know how you feel right now- -

All of the stress and panic finally reach the breaking point and
ABBEY flips out.

ABBEY
No, you don't! You couldn't possibly understand what I feel
right now.

BARTLET
(concerned)
Abbey- -

ABBEY
They seem different now, don't they? In a man's mind they
have never
actually been a part of the female anatomy. They're just there.
They're something to be gawked at. In certain circles they're
conversation starters. I never could understand the fascination that
men have with them. It's nothing but fatty tissue and veins.
That's
all they are until a cell mutates and then they become a ticking time
bomb. And you, you'll never want to touch me again.

BARTLET
Yes, I will.

ABBEY
No, you won't. I've talked to women who have had
mastectomies. One
woman's husband divorced her because he said she wasn't
attractive
anymore. It disgusted him just to sleep next to her in bed. What the
hell kind of thing is that? You had to sacrifice a piece of your own
body to save your life and as an extra bonus, you get served with
divorce papers. What if you had testicular cancer and they had to be
removed. I would never turn you out. I would never do that!

BARTLET
I think we're getting too far ahead of ourselves here- -

ABBEY
Society teaches us as children that this is what makes us a woman.
Mothers make a big deal out of buying the first bra. Congratulations
Abbey, you're a woman now. I did the same thing to the girls. If
they
take one I won't be a woman anymore.

BARTLET
That's not true and you know it.

ABBEY
How long will it take you? How long before you're having late
night
discussions with Leo about how you can't even stand to look at
me.
How long before you start sleeping in the office to avoid being
anywhere near me?

BARTLET
I wouldn't do that.

ABBEY
Don't! I know how you are with promises. You've already
broken one,
this won't be any different.

BARTLET
No. Not this time.

ABBEY
Every man says that until it happens to his wife. It's different
when
it happens to you.  

Having heard ABBEY'S yelling, LEO enters the Oval Office
concerned
about his friends. ABBEY turns away when she sees LEO.

BARTLET
Not now Leo.

ABBEY
No, I'm going.

BARTLET
Abbey- -

ABBEY
I want to be alone for a while.

ABBEY exits leaving BARTLET standing in the office wondering what
just happened.

LEO
What just happened?

BARTLET
She freaked out.

LEO
You gonna go after her?

BARTLET
No. She needs some time...I've never seen that before. She's
never
lost it like that before.

LEO
She's scared.

Finally, the panic of the situation hits BARTLET and he responds.

BARTLET
So am I! Jesus Leo, this is my wife. What if something is really
wrong. What if she can't handle this...what do I do?

LEO
Jed- -

BARTLET
I can't be strong for her. I don't know how.

LEO
Yes, you do. You were strong for her when you got shot. You never let
her see that you were scared and she didn't fall apart.

BARTLET
She's a Doctor, she knew I would be fine.

LEO
Not when she was with you, she wasn't. She was a terrified wife
and
mother and you kept her sane. You can do it again.

LEO'S words take affect on BARTLET and he calms down.

BARTLET
I can't live without her Leo. I wouldn't survive that.

LEO
You need to tell her that.

BARTLET
Yeah...I wanna be alone now.

LEO
Yes, Sir.

LEO leaves BARTLET alone in his office.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

INT. TOBY'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

TOBY is frustrated. He is still working on the letter. CHARLIE
appears at the door holding an envelope.

CHARLIE
Toby?

TOBY
Hey Charlie...listen, I'm sorry about before. I didn't consider how
it would make you feel- -

CHARLIE
It's okay.

TOBY
No, it was insensitive.

CHARLIE sits down.

CHARLIE
Toby, my mother died doing her job. She wanted to protect people. She
wanted to make a difference. I know that the person who killed her
will probably never be caught and yes, that upsets me. No one has a
right to take another person's life because they feel that they're
about it be inconvenienced.  

TOBY
I know that it must have been hard- -

CHARLIE
It still is. When I got this job, the first thing I did was run home.
I wanted to call her at work and tell her all about it. I was four
numbers in before I remembered that she wasn't there anymore. It's
still hard. Some days are worse than others, but that didn't give me
the right to snap at you like that.

TOBY gives CHARLIE a nod as acceptance of his apology.

CHARLIE (CONT'D)
Toby, whatever you write will help his family cope. It won't make all
the hurt go away, but for a few minutes, it makes it a little less
painful.

TOBY
I don't think so.

CHARLIE hands TOBY the envelope he was carrying.

TOBY (CONT'D)
What's this?

CHARLIE
Read it.

TOBY opens the envelope and begins to read it out loud.

TOBY
Dear Charlie and Denna, I know that this is a hard time for you, but
know your mother didn't die in vain. She gave her life to protect and
serve. She did it with her head held high. She put her life on the
line everyday to make this country a safer place to live. We, as a
country, are better people just by knowing she was there for us. She
was an excellent officer, a fine citizen, and a loving mother. Never
forget her and all the things she accomplished. She will always be
with you. Sincerely, Josiah Bartlet. President of the United States.

TOBY takes a moment and then looks to CHARLIE.

CHARLIE
Whatever you write helps.

CHARLIE stands and leaves the office. TOBY is still for a moment. He
tears up the paper he had been working on and starts a new page.

CUT TO:

INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN HALLWAY - A SECOND LATER

SAM walks down the hall and enters TOBY'S office. A few seconds
later, SAM runs out of TOBY'S office dodging his little blue ball.
SAM stands there being stared at by BONNIE and GINGER.

SAM
I'll be in my office.

SAM goes into his office.

CUT TO:

INT. LEO'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

LEO is sitting at his desk, lost in thought. There is a knock at the
door.

LEO
Yeah.

MARGARET enters.

MARGARET
Josh is here.

LEO
Okay.

MARGARET steps back as JOSH enters. JOSH looks at MARGARET. She gives
him an evil look.

MARGARET
What's my name bitch?

LEO
(astounded)
Margaret!

MARGARET
He started it.

LEO
Get out!

MARGARET leaves.

LEO (CONT'D)
What?

JOSH
I did some digging. Ohio State University has been working on this
for a while and are ready to implement. It's a rural area with a
thirteen percent unemployment rate and with this grant, they can
build a fish farm that will bring hundreds of jobs. Now, they've
raised two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and along with the
University, they have a big corporate backer. The corporation also
plans to build a processing facility in the county to process the
fish and bring even more jobs. Also, they are building roads that
will serve the shipping needs of the facility. Leo, this is a very
well thought out plan. It's a good idea.

LEO
Maybe there's just no money.

JOSH
No money? Leo, we spend millions every year to grow salmon, oysters,
and shrimp. All this guy wants is two hundred and fifty grand to
provide food and jobs to the people in that community. Hell, we spend
twice that much on peanut allergy reduction research.

LEO
Yeah, but if there's no demand- -

JOSH
Half of all the fish eaten comes from aquaculture. The U.S. ranks
ninth in the world. We only provide six percent of our country's
seafood needs leaving us almost completely dependent on foreign
imports. Not only that, but the fish is also used in the production
of feed for animals, fertilizer, and even food for the fish that are
farmed.

LEO
Who is it that asked about this?

JOSH
John Ormond from southern Ohio.

LEO
He's Republican right?

JOSH
Yeah.

LEO
Ohio went Republican in the last election, right?

JOSH
Yeah, but barely. They do carry twenty-one electoral votes.

LEO
Okay, call the Chairman of the Joint Subcommittee on Aquaculture and
find out what's going on.

JOSH
Okay.

LEO
Remember what I said.

JOSH
No promises.

JOSH exits.

CUT TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - AFTERNOON

BARTLET is sitting at his desk. DONNA enters the office.

DONNA
Sir, I have the information you wanted.

BARTLET stands and walks around his desk to the chairs in front.

BARTLET
Let's sit down.

Both sit.

DONNA
I got this information from the National Cancer Institute's web site.
There's a lot here.

BARTLET
Okay.

DONNA
NCI estimates that one in eight America women will develop breast
cancer in her lifetime. White, Hawaiian, and African American women
have the highest level of breast cancer risk.

BARTLET
One in eight?

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

BARTLET
That's a lot.

DONNA
Yes, Sir.

BARTLET
That's over six million women.

DONNA
Asian and Hispanic women have a lower level of risk. The lowest of
risk occurs among Korean, Native American, and Vietnamese women.
Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths among forty to
fifty-nine year old women. I have the estimates for the year 2002,
would you like to hear them?

BARTLET
Yeah.

DONNA
Two hundred and three thousand new cases will be diagnosed. Over
thirty nine thousand women will die from it. Fifteen hundred men will
be diagnosed and of those, four hundred will die. It is the second
leading cause of death among African American women. Though they have
less of a chance of getting it, they are twenty-eight percent more
likely to die from it. One in forty Jewish women of Eastern and
Central European ancestry, which is nine out of ten Jewish women in
this country, carry the gene mutations which are major factors in the
development of breast cancer.

BARTLET
(astounded)
Nine out of ten Jewish women carry the gene mutation? Nine out of ten?

DONNA
Yes, Sir. Doesn't leave a lot of room for error.

BARTLET
Yeah...go ahead.

DONNA
Asian women who came here more than ten years ago are at an eighty
percent greater risk of getting it than new immigrants. For Asian
women born here, their risk is the same as Caucasians. Hispanic women
have a lower breast cancer rate but are more likely to die from it
due to social, economic, and educational factors. It is the leading
cause of death among Native American women. Their five year survival
rate is the lowest of any racial or ethnic group in the country due
to a lack of early detection services. Women under forty make up five
percent of all cases.

BARTLET
Wow. That's pretty overwhelming.

DONNA
Yes, Sir. There's more information in here if you would like to read
it.

DONNA hands BARTLET the file.

BARTLET
Thank you Donna.

DONNA
Yes, Sir...it's pretty frightening isn't it? How your body can turn
on you. It's not a disease you can catch and it's not one you can
cure. Genetic Russian roulette.

BARTLET
Very frightening.

DONNA leaves the office. BARTLET opens the file and begins to read.

CUT TO:

INT. LITTLE JOHN'S GARAGE - AFTERNOON

CJ enters the garage. She wanders through looking for a service
person.

CJ
(calling out)
Hello?

CJ turns to find her car. She also finds the entire engine on the
floor, in pieces.

CJ (CONT'D)
(in shock)
OH MY GOD!

CJ pulls off her sunglasses. She turns and heads straight for the
office. She finds LITTLE JOHN sitting behind the counter reading
Popular Mechanics.

CJ (CONT'D)
(outraged)
What the hell did you do to my car!

LITTLE JOHN
What?

CJ
My car...the one with the rattle.

LITTLE JOHN
Oh, yeah, the Honda.

CJ
Yeah, the Honda. The one that was all in one piece when I brought it
here this morning.

LITTLE JOHN
Well, there were a couple of problems that we needed to fix before it
was safe to drive.

CJ
What problems?

LITTLE JOHN
I was doing the tune up and I noticed the timing belt looked worn, so
I replaced it. While I was there, I replaced the water pump. If the
water pump leaks or stops, it will ruin the timing belt.

CJ
Yeah?

LITTLE JOHN
You have what is called an interference engine aka a "motor wrecker."
If the timing belt stops, your pistons and valves will get ruined.

CJ
Okay?

LITTLE JOHN
While I was doing the oil change, that you so desperately needed, I
noticed the fluid in your battery was low. I checked the battery and
it was weak. I figured your alternator was bad, so I replaced it and
the battery. While I was doing that, I found a frayed cable and
replaced that too. I also changed your windshield wipers and rotated
your tires.

CJ
I didn't ask you to do any of that.

LITTLE JOHN hands CJ the bill.

LITTLE JOHN
Here's your bill.

CJ looks it over and comes to the price.

CJ
(outraged)
Are you crazy! $1129.41? I'm not paying this.

LITTLE JOHN
Then you don't get your car.

CJ
You're a con.

LITTLE JOHN
Hey! No need to foam at the mouth, lady.

CJ
Excuse me? You wait for unsuspecting women to come along so you can
screw them and not in the happy fun way.

LITTLE JOHN
Wow. Must be that time of the month.

CJ is shocked by the remark.

CJ
Do you know who I am?

LITTLE JOHN
Don't care.

CJ
Really? My name is CJ Cregg. I am the Press Secretary for the
President of the United States. I can make your life a living hell.

LITTLE JOHN
(uninterested)
Yeah, okay.

CJ
All I have to do is go back to the White House, call a press
conference on all local stations...no no, make that all national
networks and have the President personally condemn your second rate
chop shop. You'd not only be out of business here, you wouldn't be
able to get a job making lug nuts in China. So, I suggest that you
take a little look-see at that bill and make some revisions before I
kick your WD40 sniffing ass until hell won't have it again, you
chauvinistic heinous blow pig!

CUT TO:

INT. LEO'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

There's a knock at the door.

LEO
Yeah.

An irritated MARGARET enters.

MARGARET
Josh.

LEO
Okay.

MARGARET steps back and JOSH enters. JOSH looks at MARGARET. MARGARET
looks at JOSH. They stare for a moment. LEO watches.

JOSH
Margaret.

MARGARET
Josh.

JOSH cracks a smile and begins to sing.

JOSH
Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you...

MARGARET exits and slams to door behind her.

LEO
Why do you do that?

JOSH
Because it's fun.

LEO
Yeah, well, I'm the one who has to hear about it.

JOSH
Fine.

LEO
Do you have something for me?

JOSH
I think I fixed the problem. Ormond is gonna get his grant.

LEO is suspicious of JOSH.

LEO
(accusatory tone)
Good. Isn't it great when a democracy doesn't have to bend to
blackmail.

JOSH
Well, I wouldn't go that far.

LEO rises from his chair.

LEO
Josh.

JOSH
It's not that bad.

LEO
Josh!

JOSH
Really, it's not a big deal.

LEO
What did I say?

JOSH
Leo- -

LEO
What did you give them?

JOSH
Basically, we promised not to question the half million for peanut
allergy reduction.

LEO
(confused)
Why?

JOSH
Well, it seems that it's a cause near and dear to one of the
committee members...wait for it.

LEO
Why?

JOSH
Because his brother owns a peanut farm in Georgia.

LEO
You're kidding me.

JOSH
No.

LEO
(impressed)
Very good.

JOSH circles the room with his fists in air, like a champion boxer.

JOSH
Yes..I am.

LEO picks a book up off his desk.

JOSH (CONT'D)
What are you reading?

LEO
Sam gave me this book- -

JOSH
Oh, God.

LEO
It's pretty interesting.

JOSH
Leo, no.

LEO
Did you know that if you take nutmeg intravenously, that it's fatal?

JOSH
Why would someone do that?

LEO
Obviously someone did or they wouldn't have know that. Did you know- -

JOSH
I'm outta here.

JOSH makes a speedy exit. LEO laughs. LEO hears the other door open
and turns. BARTLET has entered.

LEO
Sir?

BARTLET
I'm gonna call it a night.

LEO
Have you talked to Abbey?

BARTLET
Not yet, but I can't wait any longer.

LEO
Well...call if you need anything.

BARTLET
Yeah...thanks for earlier.

LEO
Yeah.

BARTLET exits the office.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN HALLWAY - EVENING

CJ struts through the door and enters SAM'S office.

INT. SAM'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

CJ
Oh baby, I am good! I am hot! I am...

CJ licks her thumb, presses it to her shoulder, and makes a hissing
sound.

CJ (CONT'D)
On fire.

SAM
I take it you got your car back?

CJ
Yes, I did.

SAM
How much?

CJ hands SAM the bill. He looks it over.

SAM (CONT'D)
(stunned)
Are you kidding me? $1129.41? That's insane.

CJ
That's what I said.

SAM
Did you pay it?

CJ
Hell no!

SAM is confused. How did she get her car if she didn't pay.

CJ (CONT'D)
Okay. First of all, I went in there and found my car in pieces all
over the ground. I went to the office, where Little John proceeded to
run down a laundry list of everything he did to my car.

SAM
What did he do?

CJ
It's on the bill.

SAM takes a second look.

CJ (CONT'D)
So, then he gives me the total. Needless to say, I almost had a bird.
We get into this argument where he threatens not to give me my car
back. I threaten to have the President go on national television and
personally condemn his business.

SAM
The President can't do that.

CJ
Yeah, but he doesn't know that. So he re-worked the bill and gave me
a very generous government employee discount.

SAM
$693.00?

CJ
Yep.

SAM
I'm impressed.

CJ
Thank you. See, I didn't need a man's help. A woman can handle these
things.

SAM
Congratulations Ms. Cregg. How do you feel?

CJ
I feel great! I feel like doing donuts around the Washington Monument.

SAM
That would be illegal.

CJ heads for the door.

SAM (CONT'D)
Hey, CJ?

CJ turns back to SAM.

CJ
Yeah.

SAM
Did you get the parts back?

CJ
What?

SAM
Did you get the parts back...the ones he replaced.

CJ
Sam, what would I do with broken parts?

SAM
You should always get the parts back. If one of them had nothing
wrong with it and he replaced it anyway, you could sue. That's
another way they rip you off.

CJ
(deflated)
Well, that didn't last long.

SAM
I did some research about your car since I had nothing else to do,
but judging by the look on your face, I don't think I should tell you.

CJ
What?

SAM
Well, your car isn't suggested for a tune up until one hundred and
five thousand miles and the timing belt should last between sixty and
ninety thousand miles.

CJ
I give up.

CJ exits the office. SAM moves quickly to catch her. He calls to her.

SAM
Where are you going?

CJ sticks her head back in the doorway startling SAM.

CJ
Home, to drink heavily.

CJ leaves. SAM walks out into the hall.

INT. COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

SAM runs into TOBY.

SAM
Hey.

TOBY
What are you still doing here?

SAM
(confused)
I work here.

TOBY
Leo called it an early night.

SAM
Oh...where are you going?

TOBY
There's something I have to do.

SAM
Can I come?

TOBY
No.

SAM
Okay.

TOBY begins to walk away then turns back.

TOBY
Sam? Where's my ball?

SAM
You threw it at me.

TOBY
Yeah, so?

SAM
So, now it's mine.

TOBY checks his watch.

TOBY
We'll deal with this later.

SAM
Bring it on.

TOBY gives SAM a look of acceptance to his challenge and then leaves.
CHARLIE approaches SAM.

CHARLIE
Was that Toby leaving?

SAM
Yeah.

CHARLIE
Do you know if he finished the letter?

SAM
Yeah, it's going to be delivered tomorrow morning.

CHARLIE
Good...thanks.

CHARLIE turns and leaves. SAM stands there alone for a moment. He
looks around and proceeds to the exit trying to catch up to his
friends.

CUT TO:

INT. RESIDENCE - EVENING

ABBEY is sitting on the couch, in her robe, trying to dry her hair
with a towel. BARTLET enters. ABBEY stops. BARTLET treads lightly,
not wanting a repeat of the earlier scene.

BARTLET
Hey.

ABBEY doesn't respond. BARTLET throws his jacket over a chair and
sits next to her.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
What's wrong?

After the earlier venting, ABBEY is mellow.

ABBEY
I can't dry my hair. I can't raise my arm high enough. It took me
forty-five minutes just to wash it.

BARTLET takes the towel.

BARTLET
Turn around.

She turns to face away from him. BARTLET dries her hair.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
Will you talk to me now? Not like before `cause that kinda scared me.

ABBEY turns back to face him. She thinks for a moment about how to
explain what happened.

ABBEY
They couldn't tell what it was when they did the mammogram, so they
did a stereotatic biopsy.

BARTLET
What's that?

ABBEY
It's where they take a thick-gauge hollow needle, insert it through
the skin several times, and take tissue samples.

BARTLET
What did they say?

ABBEY
Nothing yet. I have to wait for the results.

BARTLET
How long does that take?

ABBEY
Twenty-four to forty-eight hours.

BARTLET grasps at any question he can.

BARTLET
Does it hurt?

ABBEY
Not as much now as earlier. I have a bruise...and a few holes.

BARTLET
I'm sure they'll heal.

ABBEY
I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know what happened. I
just...panicked.

BARTLET
It's okay.

ABBEY
No, it's not. I made it sound like I was about to drop dead. That's
never happened to me before. I shouldn't have done that.

BARTLET
Abbey- -

ABBEY
I'm a Doctor. I know all about this type of procedure. I know there
are steps that can be taken...I knew better.

BARTLET
Listen to me. What happened earlier was normal. You weren't the First
Lady, you weren't a Doctor, you were Abbey Bartlet. You were human.
I'm sure plenty of people have reacted like that when something like
this happens. It's scary. No sane person can take it in stride and
not freak out once in a while. Just don't make it a habit. I don't
think I could handle seeing that more than once a month.

ABBEY
I won't...who knows about this?

BARTLET
Leo. Well, there's also Donna. I had her do some research for me.
She's concerned about you.

ABBEY
I'm okay. It won't happen again.

BARTLET
It's okay if it does, just give me some warning.

ABBEY
Okay.

BARTLET
Anything I can do?

ABBEY
No.

BARTLET
I bet there is.

BARTLET stands and walks over to the closet. He brings back a Notre
Dame shirt.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
I'll let you wear this on one condition.

ABBEY
What?

BARTLET
You have to kiss me.

ABBEY
I don't think that's worth an old shirt.

BARTLET
Why not? You sleep with an old man.

ABBEY
That's true.

They kiss. ABBEY reaches for the shirt, but BARTLET pulls it away.

BARTLET
You haven't met all of my conditions.

ABBEY
You said one.

BARTLET
Yeah, well, I changed my mind. See, I can do that because I'm the
President.

ABBEY
Fine. What?

BARTLET
You have to make me a promise. I know that promises don't go very far
in this house, but you have to keep this one.

ABBEY is confused about what BARTLET could possibly force her into.

BARTLET (CONT'D)
(seriously)
You have to promise that you won't die before me. I couldn't handle
that.

ABBEY isn't stunned by the admission because she knows her husband
loves her. She is relieved because she really needed to hear it.

ABBEY
I promise.

BARTLET hugs ABBEY.

BARTLET
We'll be okay.

The scene dissolves into an MOS montage and music begins to play.

CUT TO:

INT. DONNA'S DESK - EVENING

DONNA sits at her desk staring at her parking ticket. JOSH is walking
through the hall and stops when he notices that DONNA is still there.
He sees DONNA writing a check and putting it, along with the ticket,
into her day planner. We see a Doctor's appointment for a check up
written in. JOSH smiles and exits through the door.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LEO'S OFFICE - EVENING

LEO is sitting at his desk reading the book that SAM gave him.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT - EVENING

SAM and CJ are walking up to CJ's car. They look at the back tire and
find that it is flat. CJ rolls her eyes and throws her hands into the
air. SAM smiles, takes his jacket off, and rolls up his sleeves.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CHARLIE'S HOUSE - EVENING

CHARLIE is watching television. He looks over to the wall to a
picture of his mother. He stares at it for a moment and then smiles.
He turns his attention back to the television.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. RESIDENCE - EVENING

BARTLET and ABBEY are wrapped up in a blanket, asleep on the couch.
ABBEY is wearing the Notre Dame shirt. BARTLET is still dressed in
his work clothes minus the jacket and tie.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. MCINTOSH HOME - EVENING

TOBY is standing at the door holding an envelope. MRS. MCINTOSH opens
the front door. After a few moments, TOBY hands her the envelope. She
invites TOBY in and he closes the door behind him.

FADE TO BLACK.

END OF SHOW